Whose turn is it?

Queuing is expected in self-service restaurants, ATM withdrawals, and buying tickets from the box office. Exceptions allowed for jumping the queue may apply to the elderly or privileged. But even here, a separate queue maintains an orderly progression. Maybe online transactions have made queuing less important too.

Taking turns is part of our social scene. Even treats for lunch or breakfast where small groups (sometimes just a pair) that meet regularly understand whose turn it is to pick up the bill: Please, no second cup of coffee.

Corporate rules, even if unwritten, are well understood and followed when it comes to whose turn it is to speak.

This queuing rule is not a problem at conferences. Attention is focused on the speaker on stage doing his slide presentation. It is impolite to chat while the session is going on. It is likewise déclassé to be texting on the sly. The open forum allows the facilitator to pick which one can ask the question from the resource person. In such a big crowd, no shouting from the floor is allowed. (Sir, use the mic in the aisle.)

In board meetings, turn-taking is more formal. The rule is simple: never interrupt the conversational flow of someone who outranks you. Conversely, anyone with a higher rank can derail somebody’s opinion on the disruption of traffic by motorcycles. Even the chair is just there to open the session and have the minutes of the last meeting approved.

If the CEO has the floor, even if he is only describing his day at the golf course and his lousy swing, lower life forms need to show rapt attention to the topic at hand. Only when the CEO needs to excuse himself for a washroom break does the normal flow of conversation resume.

What is the rule in table conversations when the CEO of one company is seated next to another CEO? Is market cap to be the designator of hierarchy? What if one CEO is taciturn and concentrating on his soup with no inten-tion of saying anything, or having anything said to him? Who regulates the conversation traffic in a 12-seater of all CEOs? Just talk to the one beside you.

Hierarchies are only applied in military organizations and religious organizations. Even here, the retired status can throw off the pecking order. Business associations are tricky as the officers who should have the upper hand may belong to smaller companies than those with lower ranks in bigger conglomerates. The rule here is even simpler — Just greet your friends.

Interruptions are seldom carried out with grace. It is best to let someone finish his sentence before attempting to jump into the verbal queue. But even this seemingly safe assumption leads to tension if a split-second later someone else wants to say something.

Is it worth the bother to even understand these niceties of authorized interruptions? Are these rules even still in place? Who legislated the rules?

With the rise of social media, the rules for taking turns have been upended. Anyone can post at any time. But is anybody reading these midnight rants? Are there rules in responding to unwelcome posts — that’s fake news.

What about online meetings? There are protocols for raising the hand to be acknowledged and given the screen. But interruptions are avoided by putting observers and minor characters on “mute.” Still, jumping in (I have a question) cannot be avoided, except by “technical glitches.” (Ma’am, you are garbled.)

Rules on turn-taking for debates during a political contest need to be negotiated. One rule is to disallow the interruption of the one speaking when it is his turn on the screen. The microphones of others are muted to prevent any unauthorized turn-taking.

In a free-for-all milieu like a Viber group, postings can just pop up along with vehement reactions to them. There is no need to wait for anyone’s turn. Even the language is unfettered. So, chats can turn into debates and bruised feelings.

The adept social player can opt to be quiet and just watch the verbal tennis going on at a table, feigning disinterest in what anyone is saying. She waits for the conversation to come to her and even then, she may just shrug and proceed with putting lettuce in her mouth. (Are you talking to me?)

Tony Samson is chairman and CEO of TOUCH xda
ar.samson@yahoo.com