Do Asian parenting norms still favour ‘tough love’ for boys? NTU study explores why

SINGAPORE, June 29 — Boys in Singapore are physically punished by their fathers roughly twice as often as girls, in a pattern researchers say reflects deep-seated beliefs that sons require tougher discipline to shape behaviour, The Straits Times reported today.

The findings come from a new study by researchers from Nanyang Technological University (NTU), the National University of Singapore and other institutions, which examined 542 mother-child pairs from a long-running local cohort study

About half, or 49 per cent, of teens were severely punished physically in the past year.

They defined severe punishment as being hit with a fist, slapped on the face or pinched, while over half reported being hit with objects such as canes or belts.

The study, published in Acta Psychologica on June 16, found that disciplinary practices were not strongly linked to household income, but were instead shaped by beliefs passed down across generations.

“Instead, the consistency of corporal punishment habits across income groups points to the role of parents’ shared cultural norms about how children should be corrected, often shaped by how they themselves were raised,” NTU research fellow Germaine Tng, who led the study, was quoted as saying.

She added that mothers who were physically punished as children were more likely to view it as acceptable in parenting, even believing it could improve academic performance or prevent children from becoming coddled.

These beliefs, she said, often override parental guilt, with some children reporting that their parents lost emotional control during discipline or later felt remorse.

The study also found that adolescents commonly described feeling anger and hurt after being physically punished, with researchers warning this can weaken trust between parent and child during a critical stage of emotional development.

Tng said boys were more frequently subjected to physical discipline, particularly by fathers, likely reflecting the perception that boys are less sensitive to pain and require “tough love”.

But she cautioned that repeated physical punishment may instead normalise the use of force as a way to assert authority or resolve conflict.

The Singapore daily cited TOUCH Counselling and Psychological Services group head Andrea Chan as saying that boys are often seen as future providers who must be “hardened” early, while girls are viewed as more emotionally vulnerable.

She added that this can lead parents to respond more harshly to boys’ misbehaviour out of concern they may “not grow up right”.

The study forms part of the Growing Up in Singapore Towards Healthy Outcomes project, Singapore’s largest birth cohort study tracking child development over time.