Republicans laugh over bill naming physical fitness test after overweight 79-year-old

Over the years, America has been blessed with visionaries in fitness who have reshaped how we exercise. Including one who hails from the great state of Oklahoma.

There is Arnold Schwarzenegger, who pushed bodybuilding into the mainstream. Jack LaLanne, known as the “Godfather of Fitness,” who invented exercise machines and opened one of the first gyms. Jane Fonda made aerobics accessible through her home exercise videos.

And then there’s Chuck Norris, born in Ryan, Oklahoma, who became a world-renown martial artist and rose to greater fame starting in the 1990s on the TV show “Walker, Texas Ranger.” The Oklahoma Legislature honored him after his death last month at 86.

But they passed over this epitome of strength and instead want to add President Donald Trump to the illustrious list of fitness paragons.

Oklahoma senators decided the 79-year-old should be our school-aged children’s fitness role model.

Because when asked if there wasn’t a better example of fitness, the bill’s author, Republican Sen. Dana Prieto, said he could think of no better archetype than the 75-inch tall president who, according to the White House, weighed in at 224 pounds at his physical last year. (According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention calculator, that gives him a body mass index that puts him in the overweight category.)

“In Oklahoma we have MOHA. We wouldn’t have MOHA unless there was a MAHA. And we wouldn’t have the MAHA unless there was a MAGA,” Prieto said. “So I believe he’s a great example.”

I actually found myself pretty impressed that Prieto managed to spout off that mouthful of Trumpy-acronyms without once stuttering. I wondered how long he’d practiced that line as he prepared to defend his plan to name the Legislature’s proposed new physical fitness test for children as the President Donald J. Trump Physical Fitness Act.

If you’re trying to wade through those acronyms too, I’ll save you some time. MOHA is short for Make Oklahoma Healthy Again, the Oklahoma take on Robert F Kennedy Jr.’s Make America Healthy Again, or MAHA, movement. MAGA, of course, is Make America Great Again.

Prieto said his plan to name the fitness test that lawmakers want all public schools to administer to school children is “a big beautiful amendment, the likes of which you’ve never seen.”

No truer words have ever been spoken on the floor of the Oklahoma Senate.

But maybe not for the reason Prieto said.

In fact, the entire concept of naming this bill after Trump is so ridiculous that some state senators were openly grinning and even chuckling, struggling to take themselves seriously as they discussed the merits of naming this after Trump instead of a physically fit Oklahoman, like say, Norris, or Erica Whitelock, an Oklahoman who was a finalist in the Ms. Health and Fitness Competition.

Based on her television interview in 2020, it looked like her fitness acumen would shame even the fittest senator.

But Prieto said he woke up at 2 a.m. one morning and decided that naming this after Trump “would be a great amendment.”

Republican Sen. Casey Murdock said that Trump deserves to have the test named after him because he plays golf regularly at 79, and is “a very active 80-year-old man.” (For the record, Trump won’t be 80 until July.)

While the details of the Trump administration’s fitness plan are still being worked out, I suspect someone whose only exercise is playing golf probably wouldn’t be able to pass the screening. The guidelines are expected to include pull-ups or push-ups, V-ups (a modified version of a sit up), a 1-mile run, and some sort of stretching component to measure how far you can reach beyond your toes.

Prieto then rattled off some random trivia about the fact that Trump sleeps only four hours a night. (That, by the way, is not considered healthy either. The National Institute on Aging recommends seven to nine hours a night for older adults, but it might explain why some people have noticed that Trump seems to be nodding off during meetings.)

Trump is a prime example of health, Prieto said, because his administration’s Make America Health Again movement has resulted in the first changes to the food pyramid in over 20 years. The Trump administration made controversial changes that shift in importance the intake of daily protein, including meat, beans, dairy, soy and nuts. Those are now included alongside fruits and vegetables in the most critical section. Grains are now the smallest portion.

When Democrat Sen. Regina Goodwin pointed out that Trump eats Big Macs and fatty foods that are far from healthy, supporters metaphorically shrugged their shoulders.

“Would you believe every once in a while we have to get over our carrot and celery diets and have a Big Mac once in a while to have a good time?” Republican Sen. Randy Grellner asked to grins from fellow senators.

But our health isn’t really a laughing matter. If this ridiculous debate highlights anything, it’s that lawmakers clearly aren’t taking it very seriously either – or have lost touch with how to measure it.

As Republican Sen. Jonathan Wingard said during discussion on the health test component, nearly 70% of Oklahoma students can’t meet the military standards to enlist, which means we’ve created a generation of children unable to defend this country, serve as firefighters, in law enforcement or in other careers that require fitness. A recently retired veteran, he supports the fitness test and voted to name it after Trump.

According to a Trump administration website, half of Americans are either diabetic or pre-diabetic. About 75% have one chronic condition, and the bulk of health care spending is used to treat those chronic diseases, which is related to “diet and lifestyle.”

But the even scarier thing is that changing the name of a program to pay homage to anyone could make the state ineligible for grant money in the future. Maybe a future administration wouldn’t be so keen on a Trump-named test. Could they try to penalize us for it by withholding funding?

Republican Sen. Kristin Thompson tried to drive that point home with her colleagues who were obsessed with paying homage to Trump.

Of the $237 million, Oklahoma is slated to receive from the Rural Health Transformation Program, which was created through Congress’ One Big Beautiful Bill Act, to offset expected Medicaid losses, about $4 million will pay for this fitness test to be administered.

“Listen, I love my cheeseburgers, I love my French fries. I love my chocolate shakes, but when we’re talking about something that is kind of meant to be something silly, we could actually affect something that is very very important,” she warned.

When Trump is no longer in office, it might not be so funny if the state loses access to this health funding.

Lawmakers in the Republican-run Senate, of course, weren’t deterred and passed the bill anyway.

Because there’s obviously no better model of health to them than a 79-year-old Florida man who loves golf.

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