PARIS, FRANCE – MAY 12: (EDITORIAL USE ONLY. NO STANDALONE PUBLICATION USE (NO SPECIAL INTEREST OR SINGLE ARTIST PUBLICATION USE; NO BOOK USE)) Taylor Swift performs onstage during night four of “Taylor Swift | The Eras Tour” at La Defense on May 12, 2024 in Paris, France. (Photo by Kevin Mazur/TAS24/Getty Images for TAS Rights Management )
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Taylor Swift is no stranger to writing emotional ballads about the people in her life. While many fans first speculated that “Ruin The Friendship” — the sixth track on her new album, The Life of a Showgirl — was about a rumored rift with Blake Lively amid Lively’s legal drama with Justin Baldoni, the song actually tells a very different, heartbreaking story.
What Do The ‘Ruin The Friendship’ Lyrics Say?
“Ruin The Friendship” is believed to be inspired by Swift’s high school crush, who tragically passed away in 2010. At the beginning of the song, the singer references specific places in Hendersonville, a suburb of Nashville, Tennessee, where Swift attended high school.
“You drive eighty-five / Gallatin Road and the Lakeside Beach,” she sings. Gallatin Road runs through Hendersonville, where Swift spent her teenage years after relocating to the Nashville area to pursue a career in country music.
In the song, she talks about regretting not kissing the boy, even though he had a girlfriend at the time. In the second verse, she references prom and how they made eyes at each other. She also mentions not wanting to make things awkward in second period: “Staying friends is safe, doesn’t mean you should.”
LOS ANGELES, CA – FEBRUARY 08: Singer-songwriter Taylor Swift (R) and Abigail Anderson during The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards at the STAPLES Center on February 8, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Lester Cohen/WireImage)
WireImage
Another sign that the song draws from Swift’s personal life comes in the bridge, when she name-drops her childhood friend Abigail Anderson. The lyrics suggest that Abigail called Swift to tell her he had died, and that she flew home to attend the funeral:
“When I left school, I lost track of you / Abigail called me with the bad news / Goodbye, and we’ll never know why.”
At the end of the song, she encourages others not to make the same mistake she made by not taking action sooner. “My advice is always ruin the friendship / Better that than regret it / For all time / Should’ve kissed you anyway / And my advice is always answer the question / Better that than to ask it / All your life.”
Who Was Jeffrey Lang?
The lyrics and clues from her high school suggest that “Ruin The Friendship” could be about Swift’s former classmate Jeffrey Lang, though she doesn’t mention him by name. Lang passed away in November 2010, two years after graduating from Hendersonville High School, according to his obituary.
Lang was also a close friend of Swift. She opened up about his death in 2010 during her speech at the 2010 BMI Country Music Awards, while accepting the Country Songwriter of the Year award. The ceremony took place on Nov. 9, 2010, just one day after his funeral.
“Yesterday I sang at the funeral of one of my best friends, and he was 21,” Swift said at the time. “And I used to play my songs for him first. So I would like to thank Jeff Lang.”
There’s also speculation that Swift was singing about Lang on “Forever Winter (Taylor’s Version) (From the Vault)” from Red (Taylor’s Version). On the track, she expresses concern for a friend struggling with mental health and substance abuse.
“I didn’t know / You were breakin’ down / I’d fall to pieces on the floor / If you weren’t around / Too young to know it gets better / I’ll be summer sun for you forever / Forever winter if you go.”
What Has Taylor Swift Said About ‘Ruin The Friendship’?
In Swift’s track-by-track commentary for Amazon Music, Swift explained that “Ruin The Friendship” is a song “that kind of wistfully goes back in time to moments that you hesitated, moments that you were too scared or anxious to do something that you were really curious about, you know, the idea of if you told this person you had feelings for them or if you kissed this person, you might ruin the friendship.”
She continued, “And it kind of goes back in time and, and explores what really would have been so bad about that. So it’s really kind of a beautiful story of taking chances when they present themselves and not letting them pass you by, not having to spend your lifе wondering what would have happenеd if you would have done it.”
The Life of a Showgirl is out now. You can listen to the album on Spotify, Apple Music, and Amazon Music.
Check out the visualizer for “Ruin The Friendship” below.
Source: https://www.forbes.com/sites/monicamercuri/2025/10/03/taylor-swift-ruin-the-friendship-lyrics-the-heartbreaking-true-story-behind-the-song/
