MAGA's Super Bowl halftime show will likely be a 'slow-motion train wreck': music editor

Phoenix New Times Music Editor Amy Young says far-right Turning Point USA was “groping” for artists to fill its so-called “All-American” halftime show, designed to counter the “darker-skinned” Bad Bunny Super Bowl halftime show on Sunday.

“Announcing a big ol’ cynical show is one thing. It’s a very different task, however, to find artists who want to be the face of such a stunt,” said Young, adding that the organization finally settled on “Detroit’s claim of shame, Robert Ritchie, better known as Kid Rock.”

“No one is particularly shocked to see Confederate-flag-waving Kid Rock lead this charge,” said Young. “Opening for the rapper-turned-country-rocker that night will be another country artist, Brantley Gilbert, and then another country artist, Gabby Barrett, and, wait, we’re seeing a theme, right? Next up … um, country artist, Lee Brice.”

“… [I]f you find yourself asking ‘who?’ a couple of times, you might be residing at Camp You’re Not Alone, where TVs will be blaring the sets by actually popular, equally American musical acts Green Day and Bad Bunny,” Young added.

Young pointed out that TPUSA didn’t care when the National Football League hosted a legion of foreigners including British quartet Coldplay, Barbados citizen Rihanna, Canadian sensation The Weeknd, or Ireland’s U2. But when the it announced the appearance of Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio, a.k.a. Bad Bunny, the MAGA’s backlash was ferocious. Bad Bunny raps primarily in Spanish, which “monolingual MAGA” apparently considers “a threat to ‘mericuh,” said Young.

It doesn’t matter that the 56 million Americans who speak Spanish make the United States the world’s second-largest Spanish-speaking country after Mexico. Nor does it apparently matter that Bad Bunny is a U.S. citizen.

“The willful misunderstanding of the fact that Puerto Ricans are indeed U.S. citizens demonstrates once again that MAGA acolytes interpret history and the law about as faithfully as they interpret the New Testament,” said Young. “From jump, Turning Point USA has had its milky sheets in a twist about the choice of Bad Bunny. The slow-motion train wreck it’s running this week is reminiscent of alleged comedian Tony Hinchcliffe describing Puerto Rico as a ‘floating island of garbage’ at a Trump rally, a full-speed train wreck.”

“You may be wondering how to watch this soon-to-be-failed-attempt at a ratings grab. Well, you can probably track down that information yourself, if you’re morbidly curious,” Young said. “Usually we like to provide viewing information. In this case, we genuinely DGAF.”

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