A New Rule In Business: The Reality Rule

Most of us learned the Golden Rule at a young age: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This is a perfect rule for business, and specifically customer service and customer experience (CX). It translates into treating customers the way you want to be treated. It makes sense … or does it?

My colleague Dr. Tony Alessandra came up with a version of the Golden Rule he calls the Platinum Rule: “Do unto others as they would like done unto them.” Changing two words, you to them, in this rule means not everyone wants to be treated the in same way you might like to be treated. And in a broader sense, not everyone wants to be treated the same way.

However, when it comes to certain customers, no matter how you treat them, it doesn’t matter. If you don’t recognize this, it can break both employee satisfaction and customer satisfaction. That means it can also break a business.

The Expectation Trap

Recently, I read Give Hospitality by Taylor Scott, which tells the story of an employee who left her job because of a toxic workplace culture and found the perfect job where people, both employees and customers, were treated with respect and dignity. In her second week of training, she read a quote displayed on the company’s training room wall:

“Nothing in the Golden Rule says others will treat us as we have treated them. It only says we must treat others the way we would want to be treated.” – Rosa Parks

This quote from the legendary civil rights activist highlights a basic truth about customer service: exceptional treatment of customers doesn’t guarantee the customer will respond the same way. Yet many front-line employees and managers fall into the expectation trap and become frustrated when customers remain difficult despite receiving outstanding service.

The Danger of Misplaced Expectations

When employees expect customers to change their behavior to mirror that of employees, there is a possible danger of:

• Employee Burnout: Front-line staff become disillusioned when their exceptional effort to take care of their customers isn’t appreciated or met with a more positive response. This is one of the top reasons it’s hard to keep good customer service reps. They say, “I can’t take it anymore,” and quit.
• Inconsistent Customer Service: Frustrated employees may begin to take on the attitudes of their difficult customers, creating an inconsistent and bad experience for other customers.
• Customers Leave: Difficult customers can become your most loyal customers when their problems are resolved with patience, kindness and professionalism, even if they don’t show it in their reactions. To avoid this, employees must be persistent and follow a new rule. (Read on!)

The Reality Rule

Up until now, we have had the Golden Rule and the Platinum Rule. Now we have the Reality Rule:

Treat customers well, even if they don’t treat you well.

This isn’t about unacceptable abuse from a customer. Customers who cross the line with verbal abuse and threats fall under the category of Customers Who Aren’t Worth Doing Business With. Customers are allowed to be angry and agitated. They may be upset about the company or a product, and sometimes their behavior is driven by factors beyond your control.

The Reality Rule has three components:

1. Control Your Response: While you can’t control the customer’s behavior, you have complete control over your attitude, effort and professionalism. Don’t let your angry customer’s behavior cause you to derail.
2. Be Consistent: You know what it takes to deliver a great experience. Stay true to the core value of taking care of customers and, as just mentioned and worth mentioning again, don’t let your angry customer’s behavior cause you to go off track.
3. Turn Foes into Friends: This is more of a goal than a rule, but it’s a goal you must start with in every tenuous interaction. My annual customer service and CX research finds that 81% of customers said they would consider returning to a company if it actively sought to make amends for a bad customer experience. When you handle a complaint properly, the customer will have higher confidence in you and your company than if the problem had never happened at all.

Final Words

When your team embraces the Reality Rule, magic happens. Difficult customers often transform into loyal advocates. Employee satisfaction increases when they understand their role and what they have control over. And your organization builds a reputation for taking care of customers, even when there are problems or complaints.

Remember, you’re not treating customers well because you expect them to change their behavior, although it’s nice when it happens—and sometimes it does. You’re doing it because it’s the right thing to do, knowing in the long run it pays dividends to properly manage problems and complaints. The Reality Rule creates the kind of experience that gets customers to say, “I’ll be back!”